There are 2 things I’ve learned from the Steve Martin Classic ‘Father of the Bride’. Firstly – Franck Eggelhoffer is most definitely my spirit animal and secondly – your wedding is a super huge deal for your Dad.
Next 3rd March at 5pm will mark the moment that my very own Dad walks me down that special walkway, I am SO excited and cannot wait to celebrate the fun lead up and incredible day with him.
To help you both out and make sure he know’s what his role is, I’ve popped together 6 Dad Do’s and Don’t’s for you to pass on to him to make your wedding day memorable for you both… for the right reasons.
Do give your opinions early – don’t drop your opinions in too late once progress has been made on the planning. E.g. adding an extra 20 guests to the list when the venue is at full capacity a month out from the wedding is not ok.
Dress to impress: You want to stand out for the right reasons. You want to be the (almost) best dressed, a close runner up to the Bride and Groom. You’ll be on show, stand tall, show how proud you are by wearing something that makes you feel and look amazing.
Walk. Slow. Let your daughter take the lead when you walk down the aisle. Let her set the pace, you are there to support. There’s no need to rush the moment – and cause a tripping incident.
Practice: Practice walking down the aisle, which side you will be to your daughter (to her right), practice removing her veil if she has one, shaking the hand of her husband to be, know the cues. The best way to do this is to suggest or attend a rehearsal the day prior to the wedding.
Speech Prep: In most cases, you go first. Make it your own. Very importantly – prepare well and practice it out loud MANY times.Continue to tweak it until you are really happy and confident with it. Have it in writing and printed in a large font (lighting in wedding venues can be dull) and always give a back up to a trusted family member.
Your Speech Structure: Start with an introduction, add in a funny one liner if that suits your personality, reflect on the day so far, talk about your daughter, talk about your new son-in-law, impart some words of wisdom to the newly hitched and toast (remembering to take a glass of champagne with you to the lectern to toast with). That’s it!
If your family are helping financially with your wedding, remember ‘they who pay get a say’ – so listen to your Father’s suggestions and be open to compromise. Your wedding is a celebration of love, not a celebration of how big your Kimye flower wall is.
Don’t put too much pressure on your Dad to make the best speech you’ve ever heard. Let him be him. Give him a time limit and make sure he knows what to cover off – but let his personality and authenticity shine through.
Be mindful that this is a big day for him too. Give him time to take it all in. Steal a special moment with him, whether it be in the car on the way to the ceremony or on the dancefloor later in the night. Some Brides like to dedicate a song and do a dance with just their father, others do it more unofficially. Have that conversation with your Dad and see what is most comfortable and natural to you both.
And to my Dad… Happy Fathers Day! Thank you for being so unapologetically you, always speaking your mind and sacrificing for your family, putting us first. Always. And Thank you for all you do for Marc and I – we are so very lucky. Love you Dad.