Think you’re not an introvert? think again. You are probably familiar with the stereotypical introvert – that gal cruising the food table at a party playing candy crush on her iPhone, avoiding eye contact and conversation with strangers at all costs – that is, if she actually made it to the party. But what about the social butterfly? All is not as it appears, and there is no better way to find your inner introvert – popping it’s shy liddle head up to say ‘allo’ as your wedding day approaches.
Maybe you are totally aware that you are an introvert, you are completely shy, reserved and reflective. You may be fearing:
1. walking down the aisle, all eyes on YOU
2. needing a nap post ceremony to recharge
3. already feeling overwhelmed by the thought of all that attention on you
4. fearing the wedding day, the hoards of people, having to talk to semi-stangers – so you are sitting in fear and putting off the planning
People are frequently unaware that they’re introverts -– especially if they’re not shy — because they may not realize that being an introvert is about more than just cultivating time alone. Do any of these ring true for you?
1. Walking down the aisle and standing in front of loved ones is no biggie – but mingling with them afterwards and making small talk makes your eyelids heavy
2.You fear feeling ‘alone’ at your own wedding, even with this large crowd and people there to celebrate your wedding
3. Your future Husbandido or head Bridesbabe is an Extrovert – opposites attract and you love to observe and sometimes to join in on the so-called ‘fun bubble’
4. You LOVE being the centre of attention or a big / contributing player in your group of close friends, and even though you had an epic long lunch with them and loved every minute laughing and swapping stories, you still feel like you need a solo lie down afterwards to recharge.
So, what can you and your inner Introvert do to help you thrive and, let’s be honest, survive your wedding day?
It might seem impossible for you to not invite your great aunts daughters new boyfriend of 2 months due to family pressures… but remember this really is your day. If you are feeling paralysed by the thought of all those eyes (especially somewhat strangers) oogling you then have a sit down with your future Husbandido and family and see what would work for you all.
It’s happening. You are actually getting married. So what not prepare yourself to enjoy it as much as physically possible? Tap into your introverted self, grab a piece of paper and physically write out ALL the thing that you are scared of. Now read your list and think ‘if that actually happened what would happen next?’ and ‘ would it really matter that much?’. Sometimes simply facing the fear, feeling it and making a choice to not let it worry you will help with the overwhelm.
Add these into your run sheet. Maybe you want to go sit in a separate room and read a magazine while your bridesbabes are getting their hair did, or before the photographer arrives you might want to take a little walk in the local vicinity. Find a song that calms you or do a quick 10 minute meditation to bliss out. I’ve been known to lock myself in a toilet cubicle with my iPhone and headphones to grab a quick 10 minute medi, so don’t think you need a zen room to clear your brain. And remember – it will all be over so incredibly fast – try to savour every minute and try to live in the moment.
Your love is normally your safe place. When you are walking down that aisle, just look for him. When you are feeling overwhelmed by the small talk, hold his hand a little tighter. When you do that first dance, look into his eyes. Just pretend you are the only two people in the room, let it all fade away.
The traditional ‘on display’ table is an introverts worst nightmare. Opt for a table in the middle of the reception and
It is one of my personal favourite parts of a wedding, but for some – it’s petrifying and ruins the whole lead up to that moment. Ask your Bridal party to join in with you from the beginning, or just start the dance floor straight after cutting the cake. Your wedding, your way.
And a special mention goes to starting a morning ritual now. For most introverts, it’s others that drain our energy – so set yourself up for the best day possible. Some suggestions – a squeeze of lemon in warm water, diffusing some essential oils that promote energy, a quick meditation, 30 mins of exercise – whatever works for you to centre yourself, clear your head and start your day on the right foot. Start it now and work on doing this in the lead up to your wedding to prepare yourself.
You only get to do this once… work with your inner Introvert – not against it.