The 6 Surprising Things No One Told Me About Getting Engaged
As you may have seen here … I AM ENGAGED!!
After the crazy excitement, feeling all the feels, celebrating at the local corner store turned pub after 5pm in my local town called Come-By-Chance (yes, it is a real place. Google it), copious glasses of champagne out of a plastic cup, celebration lunches and dinners when we got back to Sydney and after almost crashing in to a traffic light due to day dreamingly gazing down at my ring whilst driving – I realised there were a few things about my own engagement that totally threw me like a Le Bron 3 pointer. Here are 6 of them.
I am a professional wedding planner and have been doing events and weddings for 12 years, so when it comes to the actual wedding planning bit – I’m sorted. In the bag. All good. However emotionally, there were no dress rehearsals for that feeling. In that moment, standing there, seeing him on one knee was a total out of body experience. It took me a few days to make it ‘public’ because, to be quite honest with you, the flood of emotions was absolutely exhausting! I just couldn’t quite believe it was happening, all my dreams were coming true in the same moment that I actually felt a little scared. It was my turn, all focus on us, this is it, together, forever, starting right this second. And you have one second to make that decision while your fave person is staring at you, on one knee, waiting for an answer to the most important question he has ever asked. It’s one thing dreaming about it, even talking about it – but a whole other thing sealing that forever contract with a 3 letter word. Don’t get me wrong, I knew my answer was yes, and will be til death do us part and then some. But overwhelm can set in – you’ve been warned.
5 years, secrets shared, experiences had, laughter, daily debriefs from Bear – in his case step by step, in great detail, at the end of each day, with diagrams included – knowing each other inside out and back to front, I thought I would have known he was tucking his pocket money away, stealing my rings to get the perfect size, not being able to keep it in and letting slip to my friends and one if them accidentally telling me – but there was zilch, zero, none of that! The guy that asks more questions than the census before breakfast and takes 2.5 years to make a decision on which mango to buy pulled that Houdini, made that huge decision and did it all without my help! It is such a major secret to keep. And he was as stealth as Oceans 11, 12 and 13 combined.
Don’t get me wrong, my relationship was tight and right pre-putting-a-ring-on-it. We have been besties, on the same path, loving each other something chronic for a long time now. There was nothing broken about being a couple. But that moment, the proposal, the ‘I choose you, for, like, ever and here’s a symbol to put on your finger to seal the deal’ made it feel like you became an instant partnership. Duo. Team. Pair. Squad. Crew of 2. Everything just feels easier. Life can continue to move forward… but now it’s completely together. All decisions, the support, the sure-ness of it all. It’s hard to explain, but I just ‘feel’ different.
Now I don’t know how legit this is, but it works. And I do it on the regular and constantly get compliments on my rings bling factor
– Once a fortnight, or whenever you feel your ring looks a little dull, put a small drop of detergent into warm water in a glass.
– Pop your ring in there, let it soak for 5 mins (and put it next to your bed while it’s soaking, not near any sink where it can get thrown down the pipes!)
– Grab a soft bristled toothbrush and give it a little scrub all over. Epic sparkle guaranteed! Bling Bling y’all.
I know what it felt like to hear about my best friends getting engaged, it is an awesome feeling! I know my friends love me. And they love Bear more than me. (No, really. He is the better half) But the love came in like a wrecking ball – in full force – from all angles. We had tears of joy in person, via phonecalls and voicemails, mushy heartfelt text messages, likes in the hundreds, love heart / bride / engagement ring / lovey eyed emojis on the regular, beautiful and thoughtful and unexpected and fun gifts, so much joy, love and excitement. They were all genuinely so so happy for us – and were not quiet about it. I think everyone knew it was where we were heading from day dot. But when it became official the spectacle was like the once in a century supermoon hysteria. Probably the coolest and most heart warming part of the whole experience.
I had a couple of ‘surprising’ reactions to my engagement. Awkward silences, not wanting to talk about it, being seemingly non-plussed by what had happened, even a little uncharacteristically pissed off. My wise friend, who also experienced some of this at announcing her own engagement, told me it says more about them than me and what they are going through, and although it hurt I didn’t let it dull my sparkle. It’s safe to say, just because you got engaged, the world isn’t suddenly revolving around you – life is still happening, feelings are still being felt and your engagement can hit a nerve. So enjoy your love, focus on the people who are celebrating, be compassionate and considerate to the ones who are seemingly hurting and don’t take it personally. Encourage them to be involved, try to get them to open up to you so you can understand why they are hurting, make sure it isn’t something you have done to make them feel this way, talk about it if it is, and be the example of pure love to them. The true friends will come round and be incredible. Mine sure did.
And just in case you are like me and want the deep dirty deets… the engagement story in 6 super sweet summarised points:
– Yes, I was completely surprised!! Had zero idea. It was the BEST surprise I have ever had.
– He proposed at my family farm, in the woolshed we used to sneak out and make out in when we first started dating
– Bear aka Marc and I have been together for over 5 years. What we tell people: We met through mutual friends. What really happened: he rocked up to a bar with 2 of his besties that were friends of mine when I was 5 Vodka soda fresh lime’s deep, I pursued him on the night, had to battle off another suitor (his, not mine) and once I grabbed hold of him I never let him go. We met 2 weeks before I left for New York to potentially live. But got back on that plane to the motherland after a 6 week holiday realising he was kinda special.
– The knee dropping goodness happened on the last trip to my family farm before my parents sold it after living there my entire life (and most of my parents lives – 40 years!). Every time I think of how special that place, that moment, the thought to do it then comes to me it makes me tear up with such joy.
– He totally nailed it with the ring. It is superbly me, the perfect fit and he chose it himself (and traipsed my pal Sophie through the city multiple times whilst she was heavily pregnant to get final approval. A million thank you’s Soph!)